I was watching a movie a few days ago and one of the scenes, quotes in particular, stuck with me.
Two characters are in a public restaurant, and the guy is trying to share some news with her, but she interrupts him to tell him that she has cancer and is dying. The man is a dick and begins telling her off and that she is selfish and things are getting too “personal.” She asks, “I thought you loved me.”
“Love? Loved you? Love is a weakness. Love is the most overused word in the English dictionary. Love is for people who need or want something.”
And since I watched that last Sunday, it stuck in my head, but I didn’t realize why that was until this morning.
That character was right…he was absolutely right.
First of all, love is one of the most overused words in the English dictionary. I think of two girls (“fake girls” if you will, imagine girls from “Mean Girls” that do not even like each other, but still say love you to each other.) I also think of someone saying “Oh, yeah, I love that guy” when all they mean is “Yeah, I’ve hung out with him two or three times at a party and when I say I love him, I mean he is funny.”
But it is the last part of the quote that I want to look at. “Love is for people who need or want something.”
THAT part is absolutely correct and I hope people everywhere realize that and realize what love truly is.
I love my girlfriend. I love my parents, my brothers, I love my best friends, and yes, I love my dog.
I need my girl to fall asleep and wake up next to me so that she is the first person I see when I wake up and the last person I see before going to bed. That is because I need to go to bed at night with the satisfaction that my day was good, she gives me that feeling. When I leave the house in the morning, I need her to be there and to give me a kiss because she is the reason I go to work. She is the reason I am trying to make something out of my life. I want her to be around and to go to dinner with me and to push me to be a better person.
We may not like our parents at times, but we will always love them. And it is true, that the only reason we love them is because we need or want something from them. I needed my mom there to tuck me into bed every night when I was growing up so she could remind me that there is no place like home and that whatever happened that day was going to be okay, and that I was going to be okay. I needed her to show me the worth of a home cooked meal and how comforting and valuable a movie night was with the family.
I needed my dad to be standing on the sidelines ready to give me a hug when things didn’t go well for me during my basketball game. I still need my dad by the phone ready to give me advice as I struggle with new experiences every day.
My brothers grew up yelling at me and fighting with me and I needed them to show me what it took to be a man. I needed them to be the ones to tell me the truth when I knew my parents were too biased to tell me ;) I need my friends to get me into some trouble every now and then. I need my dog to wag his tail when I walk into the door. I need my niece to say my name when she sees me and to show me how precious a child’s laugh is.
Love is all about wanting and needing something from the people that we do truly love.
And of course, the only way to get all of those needs and wants, is to give them to those that love you because what goes around comes around.
Love is about being the most selfish selfless person you can be to those that you love.